Day 4: "Rest and Creativity"

It all turned around today, perhaps because I choose to not be a victim of the circumstances and instead chose to break it down each day and do my best. The day sang... "Rest and Creativity"

Today started with an epic storm so I listened to the day and it sang out rest and creativity. This storm kept me from going to work which for most would be a blessing for me it meant I was all dressed and had no where to go with a mind full of yelling thoughts. Thoughts that made it impossible to sit still. So after getting ready I turned on a show from my queue to watch and ended up taking a nap. This was the best idea since I obviously hadn't caught up on rest and adjusted to the time zone. The rain whispered me to sleep and after a short nap it was time to head into work.

To counter act the nap COFFEE was necessary and would make me happy! Nothing new at work today but reassured myself that I did in fact remember the previous day's education. Afterward I headed home to dive into something creative and new.... make Kitchuri, an indian digestive and health boosting meal that I will have for a few days. Then to a FREE yoga class at Lululemon and home to blog and jot down the inspiration and insight of the day.

Kitchuri Recipe

Ingredients:
2 TBSP Sunflower oil or ghee
1/2 TBSP Celery Seeds
2 TBSP Ground Fennel Seeds
2 tsp Ground Coriander
1 Cup Basmati Rice
1/3 Cup Mung Beans
3 Cups Vegetable Stock
Salt to Taste

Directions:
1. Rinse and Soak Basmati Rice and Mung Beans together in a bowl for 2-8 hours
2. Heat oil and add Celery Seeds, Ground Fennel and Ground Coriander just until it gets aromatic
3. Drain and re-rinse Rice and Beans and Add along with the broth to oil and spices
4. Bring to boil and simmer for 45 minutes, stir occasionally
5. Add salt to taste eat some and store the rest

Making Kitchuri for the first time was a hurdle because Indian food isn't easy to prepare and though it was one of the simplest to make it was a huge feat for me to prove it to myself that I could do it. I do believe I may have over cooked the spices in the beginning but I didn't get frustrated instead I stuck with it and it turned out great! Eating it was the best feeling. This meal makes you feel heavy, full and nurtured. It has the magic of being super simple and yet extremely complex tasting well at least for my American palate.

Going to the yoga class was another huge feat since it was the first of hopefully many yoga classes I will attend while I am here and breaking the ice is the first step to getting into a full swing practice of consistency. The accomplishment of this was enough to feed my soul and my body felt pretty good afterward as well. :)

After yoga... ideas just flooded my mind. Ideas for tomorrow and the rest of my time here. I am only trying to jot them down while its all flowing. It's working!!!

Life's Soundtrack:
Playing upon awakening "Animal" by Miike Snow

Days 1-3: "Stuck in the Mud"

Days 1-3 were essential for this blog to come to fruition. It is day 4 now and I just want to thank, acknowledge and explain the first 3 days briefly if only for archiving reasons.

Day 1: As soon as I arrived I felt, mind you I drove for 3 days straight so I was restless, antsy and unsettled. I had to do something wild and crazy. For me beer, burgers and sports is usually a comforting practice and it kind of worked to self medicate like this because I could get to bed after 5 beers.

Day 2: After sleeping in I woke up and wanted to repeat day 1 all over again AND I did however, I knew I had to get up and work so not as many beers were allowed and thus I didn't sleep well at all. I moved into the room that I would be staying in and it was not as clean as I like things, the housemate was not someone I would hang out with nor someone I would choose to live with typically. And I wasn't able to find the foods I prefer and make me feel healthy.

Day 3: The struggle continues only adding the stress of a full day of work and learning. I woke up to run, which would be a normal thing for me before the move, however, I hadn't ran in 5 days and got lost on the run. Was late to work though no one really minded. Learned an entire persons job in a few hours as well as was briefed on the unsettled feelings from the other empoloyees who are standing tall during the restructuring. Feeling down and drained energy wise all day. I was re-leaved by a friend back home who sent me the cutest picture of her dog and a long phone call from the lover that I missed so much. I spoke with him at the wine bar and as I walked the other grocery market that actually had some foods I preferred. Through this conversation the "Project" sprouted.

One Day at a Time

The first step in taking on a project beside defining the overall plan is to break it up into littler pieces. Littler goals have parameters as well. They need to all serve the greater purpose, help you to stay focused but in a bite size portion. I am choosing to take it day by day. I have a total of 32 days in this situation and thus why not make the most of it each day. Deeper questions help me to formulate the daily projects.

1. What could I eat today that would serve my overall health, mental alertness and fuel my resilience?
2. What physical activity can I do today that would help move energy, emotions and anything getting stuck in my body?
3. What creative activity can I channel my feelings through?
4. What is the day singing to me to do, try and inspire?
5. What sort of fun and spontaneous can I get into to show up for my muse to find me?

If I answer each of these questions throughout the day I will not only have a fun filled day but also plenty to of ways to serve my purpose and experience the unfolding of "uncomfortableness" within the context of these things that overall serve the rebooting process.

This blog will serve as my journal and also as a tool of accountability. Ever notice how writing something online makes it that much more charged than if you write it in a journal, especially online where there is a rare chance someone else will read it.... dum dum dum!

If there is anyone out there inclined to read this? I hope that this gives you ideas of serving your personal project of rebooting. I will let you know how each idea affected me and hopefully I will learn something along the way ultimately finding a deeper understanding of my own and having a channel to share whether there is anyone interested or not. At least the energy is flowing and not just stuck in my body, heart and mind. :)

The Project Defined

I often loose touch with my own worth. Especially when I am in difficult situations, stressed, sick and/or others are in greater need of my service, or at least I think so. Just recently I was given an opportunity to re-locate temporarily to help restructure the company I worked for. I say "opportunity" now since I feel my head is finally above water, my feet are out of the mud and my skin is only mildly crawling. I writing this first blog on day 4 of the 32 I will be here.

The first 4 days were some of the most challenging and uncomfortable days in my own skin that I have experienced in a while. It was if I was kicking in screaming in the bedroom of my heart. A temper tantrum of worries, uncertainties and awkwardness. I am very well traveled have french-gypsy blood and have never been home sick before. How could I all of a sudden be experiencing all of this all at once?

Here are some new variables that have come into play that I haven't experienced before:
1. Moved to city that didn't inspire me
2. Moved to a new city 2 months after I settled into a new wonderful home
3. Agreed to take on a secret mission to help save the company I work for
4. Moved without knowing a soul
5. Met someone who I actually miss only a month and a half before I moved out here

Reading these over to myself they seem unusual but are still only excuses for me to blame my uncomfortableness on something other than my own uncomfortableness in my own body like domain. I have always felt that home is with you at all times. Whether your comfortable in your body, heart, imagination and/or all of the above. A sanctuary is relative to the individual and so how could I have lost touch of this so quickly?

This is NOT a blog about should, could, would this is a blog about practice and the journey to find home again in my body, heart and mind all while being with the ultimate experience of uncomfortableness. After all being uncomfortable is nothing new, its just rare that I get to experience such a sharp, fierce and sobering understanding of this flavor of life.

So after reflecting with my lover who is thousands of miles away I have been diving into Project: Me! A work in progress to ultimately not suffer when suffering is always an option. To rediscover what makes me happy in the face of difficulty. To allow a new flavor of experience to guide my heart and transform it into art and beauty. And finally to dive into instead of run from the experiences that can truly polish and redefine our character.